I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize