...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
