I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
