Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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