she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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