it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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