so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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