i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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