He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
