I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
