it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
