Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize