I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
