i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize