I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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