did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize