Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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