its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
