I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
