Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
