How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
