Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Your penis caused this!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize