She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
