she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
