she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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