Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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