so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
NoShamevember. You game?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want nice things and good sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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