i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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