The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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