the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
