Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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