Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I want is dick and wine.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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