yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
