It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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