I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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