ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize