im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
