Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
