Umm I'm too high to move.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
