I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
