She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
