just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
