I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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