one might say we're banned from that church
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
