Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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