I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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