found the other keg... it's in the tree
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
