I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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