I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
