so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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