Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found puke in my bra..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
