I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
