the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just tell him i said nine months
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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