I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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