What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
